Who Am I?
The whole concept of identity is based on an individual’s quest to answer this exact question – “Who Am I?” As a Psychology major, I can give you in depth analyses of how a person’s identity is created, formed, manipulated or sustained, nurtured or hindered, throughout the course of their entire lifetime, up until the very moment they leave this life. But the “how’s” and “when’s” involved in the process of developing this sense of identity is only half of the equation to solving the mystery of “who we are.” In order to see the bigger, fuller, more complete picture of “identity”, we have to also understand the “why.” Why is our identity important and what can we do to protect it at its core?
On-screen
Isn’t it true that you can be anything you want to be when you grow up…well, online at least. There’s a level of anonymity that exists in what we see, and what we post, on the internet. It’s one reason why we encounter so-called “trolls” online and why it is so important to fact check everything you read on your favourite sites. It is easy to share misinformation about news and even about oneself from behind the saftey net of a digital device. From social media platforms to online news outlets, dating sites to open-source collaboration projects, we will inevitably run into someone who purports to be something they are not; sometimes going as far as impersonating another person entirely and using that person’s images, personal details, and geographical location as their own. While some people use this freedom of internet anonymitity and identitiy shielding to enact harm or abuse on others, the majority of false personas we encounter online are created because the real person sitting behind the screen is unhappy or dissatified with their true self. This lack of confidence creates a negative space in a person’s online presence which, thanks to the open internet, is easy to fill with ficticious information or stollen identities. In this form, a person truly can become anything they want to be.
The Value of Identity
The formation of identity is dependent on multiple factors, but there are three tenants that stand out the most when talking about a healthy sense of self and true identity: potential, purpose, and possibilities. Potential refers to the process of exploring and cultivating our personal strengths, a process that requires us to try out many different activities and experiment with different roles, behaviours, and talents. Purpose is all about defining what it is we want to accomplish in life. Pursuing a purpose that aligns with your potential is the crux of a leading a happy, fulfilling life. Possibilities refers to the act of consistently seeking opportunities to implement and refine your potential and purpose. Discovering, defining, and refining these key aspects of developing our true identity is a life-long process that requires effort and flexibility. Internet identity fluidity can make this process less traumatic for most people.
In this TedxTalk, Emma Gannon illustrates how we all have different parts of ourselves – the part we show our parents or grandparents, the part we allow our partner or significant other to see, the part we let loose at parties, and so forth, but also the part of us we present in our digital lives, which she explains is really just a watered down, curreated version of ourselves, modified by our brain’s natural reward system seeking the dopamine rush of likes and shares. She emphasizes that while we need to acknowledge and nurture all the different parts of ourselves, it’s important to remember that these are just parts of what make us who we are, and no one part should be viewed or presented as a full and complete representation of ourselves. The only way to discover and cultivate an authentic sense of self and identity is through real life interactions where we have the opportunity to explore and develop ourselves in relation to the world around us.
Real sense of community using a false identity?
For those who suffer from low self-esteem or have a poor self image, it is easy to feel the need to create a better version of oneself in a digital environment. While this may seem trivial to those who have never experienced these kinds of insecurities, for others, the ability to explore, experiment, and reconstruct different aspects of their personality can serve as an integral part of building a firm foundation for identity development.
In-Person
But how does our online identity relate to our real-world one? Does the role we portray online accurately represent who we are to the people we interact with in person? I believe that even in cases where an online persona appears to be radically different from a person’s personality in the real world, there are always subtle cues that connect the two. In this way, we’re able to decificer if who we are today in all the different arenas of life aligns with who we want to be collectively. By discovering and nurturing the areas that overlap in each of our separate parts of self (ie online, in person, at work, at home, etc.), we can cultivate a fulfilling life and become the person we were always intended to become – a person we can be proud of.
So….Who Am I Then?
After delving into the psychological implications of maintaining an alter version of oneself online, it made me ponder this age-old question, probably far deeper than this assignment required. But I think it’s important to think about the things that make me, me. One thing that overlaps in my online and in-person personas is the tendency to be a bit “extra”; I just don’t believe in doing anything half-[icon name=”democrat” prefix=”fas”] if I can help it, and especially is it involves something I care about. And helping others is at the core of who I am regardless of whether you find me online or on campus. So it became clear to me, while researching more about online identity for this assignment, how important it is to be a person of integrity and positive influence in the digital world that I’m a part of. And because of this, I will be systematically going through each one of my online identities and anything else tied to my name or to any part of “real life me” and ensure that the Kim you encounter online is an accurate representation of who I am, and who I am working towards becoming in real life. I am still a work in progress, as evident by my many short-comings and perpetual lateness, however it is important to me to present an authentic account of my journey to self-actualization as it unfolds because it might help someone on their own path of self-discovery and enlightenment….or maybe it won’t. Who knows? That’s the beauty of it all, really. There’s no way of knowing how many lives we impact as we journey through this life, but if I have an impact on any one’s life, I want to make sure it’s a positive one.
Be Brave Beautiful
There’s a lot tied into the name I chose for this domain; and it took a lot of contemplation to finally arrive at, which is ironic as I eventually went with a more affirmative version the tagline of my old wordpress blog! I suppose it’s based in the underlying desire to leave a legacy of hope and positive change once I’m gone. “Be Brave Beautiful” is an affirmation that I repeat to myself before I walk into a Mary Kay event or lead a skin care class, or really anytime I put on that Mary Kay persona because I don’t see myself as brave nor beautiful. But my dream is help others see that in themselves – to show the world that bravery and beauty doesn’t always mean perfect and pretty. It’s about honesty, integrity, empathy, and authenticity. I know I’m heading in the right direction, though I don’t know where it will lead me to. I just have to trust the process and keep believing that there’s a better future for me and my son as long as I keep striving to be the best version of me I can be. And maybe I’ll inspire hope in someone’s life along the way. So stay tuned – I have a feeling it’s going to be an beautiful adventure!
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